coorneliaaf

Kapitel 1


I groan as my alarm clock goes off. I stick my arm out from under the covers and press the snooze button.

I close my eyes again, deciding to get a few more minutes of sleep before my mom realizes that I'm not up and forces me out of bed.



"Justin!" someone yells. "Justin, wake up!"

I open my eyes and see my mom standing over me. I groan loudly and roll over.

"Justin, honey get up," Mom says.

I shake my head, pulling the covers over my entire body.

Mom sighs.

Suddenly all the covers are ripped off of my body and I become cold.

I whine as I roll over, looking up at my mom.

She's standing with my covers in her hands, smirking.

"Mom give them back," I whine.

Mom shakes her head. "Get up or you're going to be late."

I groan and roll out of bed, landing on the floor.

My mom sighs and puts my covers on my bed. "Be downstairs in twenty minutes." She then leaves.

I sit up, pulling my knees to my chest, my eyes filling with tears.

I don't want to go downstairs. That means that I have to see him, talk to him, act like I'm ok with him. I don't want to be anywhere near him!

Alone tears rolls down my cheek as I stand up and make my way into my bathroom.



I exit my bathroom ten minutes later, wearing a pair of black jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt, my usual attire. I sigh and plaster a smile on my face as I leave my room and make my way downstairs.

Time to start another day of pure torture.

I walk into the kitchen where my mom, her boyfriend Nick, and my little half siblings are.

My mom is watching them for a few days while my dad and stepmom are on a short vacation.

I smile as I walk over to Mom and peck her cheek. "Good morning, Mom."

Mom laughs and smiles at me. "I'm glad to see that you're in a better mood."

I laugh and grab an apple from the fruit bowl, taking a bite out of it. "You know that I'm not a morning person."

Jazmyn, my two year old sister, and Jaxon, my almost one year old brother, come running over to me.

Well, Jaxon can't actually run, but you get it.

"Hi, Bieber!" Jazzy shouts as she hugs my leg.

Jaxon holds up his arms, wanting to be held.

I scoop him up, placing him on my hip. "What's up little man?"

"Jushy!" my brother yells, trying to say my name.

I laugh and walk over to the kitchen table sitting my apple down. I then place Jaxon in his highchair.

Jaxon whines, probably not wanting to be in the highchair.

I make a funny face to distract him.

He instantly begins to giggle.

Jazmyn walks over to me. "Up, Bieber."

I pick her up and place her highchair which is next to Jaxon's.

"Bieber!" She puckers her lips, meaning that she wants a kiss.

I lean down and peck her lips. "You just love giving away kisses, don't you?"

Jazmyn nods quickly and giggles.

Laughing, I sit down in my seat next to Jaxon and pick up my apple, beginning to eat it again.

My mom's boyfriend sits down next to me. He smirks.

I discreetly roll my eyes.

I HATE Nick!

He places a hand on my thigh and begins to rub it. "I hope you're up for what I have planned later," Nick whispers.

I fight the urge to puke.

Just as I'm about to say something, Mom walks over to us, placing a plate of pancakes in front me. She gives my little siblings some too, but they're cut into really small pieces.

"Thanks, Mom," I say as I pick up my fork and knife, ready to devour my pancakes.

"You're welcome, honey," Mom says as she's about to take her seat at the table, when suddenly the phone begins to ring.

Mom hurries off to go answer it.

Nick scowls at me. "You shouldn't be eating those pancakes. You're already fat enough. You don't need those calories."

I bite my lip, resisting the urge to cry. I push my plate away from me and stand up.

Nick grabs my wrist roughly. "Listen up, slut. After school, you're meeting me at my office. Got it."

I nod and try to pull my arm away.

Nick tightens his grip. "If you even think of not showing up, I'll kill Pattie and those two brats." He points to my little siblings.

I gulp. "I'll be there after school."

"Good." Nick lets go of my wrist, shoving me back.

I stumble a little. Regaining my balance, I scurry out of the room and to the front door. I shove my feet into a pair of my shoes and grab my backpack.

Mom comes down the stairs, probably from talking on the phone. She sees me and smiles. "Are you done eating already?"

I smile and nod. "I wasn't really hungry. So...." I turn around and grab the doorknob on the front door.

Mom walks up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Where's my goodbye kiss?"

I turn around and peck my mom's cheek. "Bye, Mom."

"Do you need a ride to school?"

I shake my head. "I feel like walking."

"Ok," Mom replies.

I turn back around and open the door.

"Oh, I need you to come straight home after school. I need to go to a business lunch and you have to watch Jazzy and Jaxon."

I freeze. "I-I uh....have plans after school." I turn around, facing Mom.

"What plans?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

I bite my lip and shove my hands into my pockets. "I'm gonna go to the mall with some friends."

"Well, you can go tomorrow. You need to be back here as soon as school ends. Ok?"

I gulp. "I-I uh...." I sigh. "Sure."

"Good," Mom says, smiling. Have a good day."

"Thanks," I mumble as I walk out of the house. I close the door behind myself and begin to walk to school, groaning.

How am I going to meet Nick at his office AND be home after school?!


Kapitel 2


I sigh as I walk up the steps of my school.

Time to act like the happy guy everyone thinks I am.

I sigh one last time and open one of the from doors, entering the building.

I'm immediately greeted by cheering and clapping.

I plaster a smile on my face.

Everyone is applauding me is because last night, I scoured the winning goal in our hockey game. Since we one, our team's going to the championships.

I'm a little excited, but I honestly have more important things to worry about.

"Great shot last night, Bieber," some jock says.

"Thanks," I reply as I try to make my way through the see of people and to my locker.

I finally make it to my locker and place my backpack on the floor, put my combination into my locker and open it.

"You were AMAZING," some girl gushes, twirling her hair on her finger. She leans against the locker beside mine.

I nod in reply, not really feeling like talking.

"Get away from him you hoe!" someone suddenly shouts.

Everyone, including me, turns toward the direction the voice came from.

I inwardly roll my eyes as I see who's coming.

It's the cheer leading captain, Britney.

She's so annoying and thinks that I'm completely in love with her......which is TOTALLY wrong!

I HATE her!

Britney marches down the hallway, an angry expression on her face. She storms over to the girl next to me.

The girl looks like she's about to piss herself.

"What the heck do you think you're doing talking to my man?!" Britney screeches.

The girl shakes nervously. "I-I was just-"

"Just nothing!" yells Britney. She grabs the other girl's hair and pulls it, throwing her onto the floor afterward.

"Britney, stop it," I say sternly, trying to break things up.

Britney looks at me, smiling innocently. "Baby, I was just protecting you. That girl could've been a stalker, for all you know."

I roll my eyes and grab some books out of my locker, closing it. "Don't call me baby. We're not dating." With that, I start to walk down the hall.

Britney scoffs. "We will be dating, just you wait! You're gonna ask me out soon. I know it!" She then takes off in the other direction.

Some of the guys whistle as she walks by.

I roll my eyes again and continue to my first class.



I enter the cafeteria and get in line, grabbing a tray.

As soon as the school's biggest jock, Rob, sees me, he shouts, "Move outta the way, Bieber coming through!"

The students in front of me in line immediately move out of my way, fearing Rob.

He comes up to me, clamping a hand down on my shoulder. "Great job last night, dude. Play like that again, and we'll win for sure."

Rob and I are sorta friends.

I hang out with him and his friends at school, but nowhere else.

I don't like him to be honest.

He's loud, obnoxious, and a bully. The only reason he hangs out with me is because I'm co captain of the hockey team, he's captain.

I force a smile onto my face. "Thanks. I really hope we make it to the championship. We have a great tam so-"

Rob scoffs, interrupting me. "Great team my butt. Me and you are the BEST players. The team would be crap without us."

I laugh stiffly. "That's not nice. And you really didn't have to make everyone move. I enjoy standing in line."

"Other than me, you're the best athlete in the school. You deserve special treatment."

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing. Now grab your lunch and meet me and the guys at our table." Rob walks off.

Yeah, I sit at the "popular" table.

It's not all it's hyped up to be.

I get my food and make my way over to the popular table, passing my friends Ryan, Chaz, and Christian.

They all look at me and smile.

"You wanna join us?" Chaz ask as he devours his sandwich.

I shake my head sadly, about to say something when I'm interrupted by Rob.

"Yo, Bieber!" he shouts from across the room. "Hurry up!"

I smile sadly at my real friends and walk over to the "popular" table.



I bounce my leg up and down anxiously as I sit in my last class, waiting for the bell to ring.

I've decided not to go home to babysit my brother and sister, but to meet with Nick.

I know my mom will be pissed, but I just can't risk putting her and the rest of my family in danger.

Suddenly the bell rings, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I quickly shove all of my things into my backpack and stand up from my desk. Throwing my backpack on, I begin to walk out of the classroom quickly.

"Yo, Bieber, wait up!" I hear Rob yell.

I groan mentally and stop in my tracks.

Rob jogs up to me. "You wanna go to the mall with me and some friends?"

I shake my head. "I can't. I have to be somewhere. Thanks for the invite though." With that, I take off running down the hall before Rob can say another word.

I have to get to Nick's office quickly or he'll be pissed!





I lean against a wall and try to catch my breath when I get inside of Nick's office building.

I just ran all the way hear from school, and this place is like three miles from there.

I'm exhausted, but I still have to do some things.

Finally regaining my breath, I make my way up to the front desk of the building.

The lady sitting behind it looks up at me and dully asks, "May I help you?"

I nod. "I'm here to see Nicholas Parks."

"Got an appointment?" the lady asks in the same tone.

"No," I reply. "But I really need to see him."

"If you don't have an appointment, you can't see him."

"But-"

The lady scowls at me. "Listen kid, this is an office building, not a playground! Beat it!"

I huff.

Time to use my "secret weapon".

I smirk. "Fine. I guess I'll just tell Nick about this over dinner....since he IS my mom's boyfriend." I then start to walk away.

"No, wait!" the las shouts.

I spin around, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"

The lady looks scared. "P-please don't tell Mr. Parks. I would loose my job."

I shrug. "Too bad."

The lady sighs and says, "He's in room six on the fourth floor."

I smile. "Thank you." I then walk off to the elevator.



I sigh as I exit the elevator.

It's time to endure hours of unbearable pain.

I look around for room six. Seeing it, I walk over to the door and take a deep breath, bringing my fist up and lightly knocking.

"Come in," I here that horrible, terrifying, deep voice say.

I slowly put my hand on the doorknob and turn it, opening the door.

Once it's open enough, I slip inside of the room, closing and locking the door.

"You're late," Nick says as he slowly spins around in his chair.

I jump, startled. I turn around and face him. "I-I'm sorry. I got lost on my way here."

Nick stands up and makes his way over to me. "Whatever. Because of your tartiness, you'll be staying here for another two hours."

I gulp.

Nick pins me against a wall and begins to sloppily kiss me.

I grimace. However, knowing the drill, I start to kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck.



About a minute later, Nick pulls away.

I breathe heavily, trying to regain my breath.

Nick pulls open a drawer of a table and pulls out some things, "toys" as he calls them.

The "toys" are a gag and a pair of handcuffs.

Nick snickers. "Let the fun begin."





Four hours later, at six forty-five, I'm finally allowed to get dressed.

Nick just finished raping me. He raped me for four hours straight.

I'm so sore and tied.

I sniffle as I finally finish getting dressed. I walk over to the door, ready to leave.

Nick walk up behind me and slaps my butt. "Nice work."

I shudder and leave the room.





I finally reach my house an hour and a half later.

I force myself to hold in my tears as I pull out my key and stick it in the key hole, unlocking the door. I open the front door and quietly enter the house, making sure Mom won't hear me.

The door creaks as I close it.

I cringe. Taking off my shoes, I tiptoe over to the stairs, about to climb them when......

"Justin Drew Bieber!" Mom shouts, sounding pissed.

I slowly turn around. "Hi, Mom," I say nervously. "You sure look pretty tonight."

"Stop it, Justin!" Mom yells. "Where the heck were you?! You promised you would be back after school to watch Jazmyn and Jaxon!"

I hand my head. "I'm sorry, I got held up with something. It will never happen aga-"

"You're darn right it won't happen again! You're grounded!"

My eyes widen as I look up. "But Mom-"

"No buts! You're grounded for a month and no computer, cellphone, or iPod!"

I start to get angry.

The reason I didn't show up is because I was protecting her!

"That's not fair!" I shout.

"I'm not trying to be fair! You made me miss my business lunch! I could loose my job!"

I sigh, feeling frustrated.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door.

Mom walks off to answer it.

"Hi, Pattie," I hear someone say.

Recognizing the voice, I smile a little. I walk over to the door and am immediately wrapped in a hug.

"Hey, kiddo," my mom's best friend and my "aunt", Kelly says. "It's been forever since I've seen you."

I laugh and pull away from Kelly. "You saw me a month ago."

"Yeah, but it seems like forever."

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"She's here to watch Jazmyn and Jaxon, since I obviously can't trust you to watch them," Mom says harshly.

I feel tears prick my eyes but force them to not fall. "Where are you going?"

Mom scoffs, probably annoyed with me. "I'm going to dinner with Nick, if you must know."

Suddenly Nick comes from out of the living room. He walks over to Mom, wrapping an arm around her waist.

My eyes widen as I see him.

I didn't know he was here!

Nick smirks down at me. He then looks at Mom. "C'mon, Pattie. Let's get going."

Mom smiles and grabs her shawl from the coat rack.

Judging by the way they're dressed, they're going somewhere fancy.

Mom and Nick then leave the house, Mom not even saying goodbye to me.

Aunt Kelly smiles. "Are you ready for a night full of fun with Jazzy, Jaxo, and me?!"

I sigh and shake my head. "No thanks. I need to do some homework."

Raising an eyebrow, Aunt Kelly asks, "Don't you want dinner?"

I shake my head again. "I'm not hungry." I walk over to the staircase.

"Then goodnight.....I guess?" Kelly says sounding slightly confused.

"Goodnight," I mumble back as I start to make my way up to my room.



Entering my room, I throw my backpack onto the floor and walk over to my bed. I throw myself on it and start to sob into a pillow, letting out the tears I was trying to hold in earlier.

I'm so freaking tired of having to put up with Nick raping me! It's been going on for almost two years! I just want it to end! But it won't! Unless......

I sit up on my bed and quickly pull open the second drawer of my nightstand.
I sigh as I walk up the steps of my school.

Time to act like the happy guy everyone thinks I am.

I sigh one last time and open one of the from doors, entering the building.

I'm immediately greeted by cheering and clapping.

I plaster a smile on my face.

Everyone is applauding me is because last night, I scoured the winning goal in our hockey game. Since we one, our team's going to the championships.

I'm a little excited, but I honestly have more important things to worry about.

"Great shot last night, Bieber," some jock says.

"Thanks," I reply as I try to make my way through the see of people and to my locker.

I finally make it to my locker and place my backpack on the floor, put my combination into my locker and open it.

"You were AMAZING," some girl gushes, twirling her hair on her finger. She leans against the locker beside mine.

I nod in reply, not really feeling like talking.

"Get away from him you hoe!" someone suddenly shouts.

Everyone, including me, turns toward the direction the voice came from.

I inwardly roll my eyes as I see who's coming.

It's the cheer leading captain, Britney.

She's so annoying and thinks that I'm completely in love with her......which is TOTALLY wrong!

I HATE her!

Britney marches down the hallway, an angry expression on her face. She storms over to the girl next to me.

The girl looks like she's about to piss herself.

"What the heck do you think you're doing talking to my man?!" Britney screeches.

The girl shakes nervously. "I-I was just-"

"Just nothing!" yells Britney. She grabs the other girl's hair and pulls it, throwing her onto the floor afterward.

"Britney, stop it," I say sternly, trying to break things up.

Britney looks at me, smiling innocently. "Baby, I was just protecting you. That girl could've been a stalker, for all you know."

I roll my eyes and grab some books out of my locker, closing it. "Don't call me baby. We're not dating." With that, I start to walk down the hall.

Britney scoffs. "We will be dating, just you wait! You're gonna ask me out soon. I know it!" She then takes off in the other direction.

Some of the guys whistle as she walks by.

I roll my eyes again and continue to my first class.



I enter the cafeteria and get in line, grabbing a tray.

As soon as the school's biggest jock, Rob, sees me, he shouts, "Move outta the way, Bieber coming through!"

The students in front of me in line immediately move out of my way, fearing Rob.

He comes up to me, clamping a hand down on my shoulder. "Great job last night, dude. Play like that again, and we'll win for sure."

Rob and I are sorta friends.

I hang out with him and his friends at school, but nowhere else.

I don't like him to be honest.

He's loud, obnoxious, and a bully. The only reason he hangs out with me is because I'm co captain of the hockey team, he's captain.

I force a smile onto my face. "Thanks. I really hope we make it to the championship. We have a great tam so-"

Rob scoffs, interrupting me. "Great team my butt. Me and you are the BEST players. The team would be crap without us."

I laugh stiffly. "That's not nice. And you really didn't have to make everyone move. I enjoy standing in line."

"Other than me, you're the best athlete in the school. You deserve special treatment."

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing. Now grab your lunch and meet me and the guys at our table." Rob walks off.

Yeah, I sit at the "popular" table.

It's not all it's hyped up to be.

I get my food and make my way over to the popular table, passing my friends Ryan, Chaz, and Christian.

They all look at me and smile.

"You wanna join us?" Chaz ask as he devours his sandwich.

I shake my head sadly, about to say something when I'm interrupted by Rob.

"Yo, Bieber!" he shouts from across the room. "Hurry up!"

I smile sadly at my real friends and walk over to the "popular" table.



I bounce my leg up and down anxiously as I sit in my last class, waiting for the bell to ring.

I've decided not to go home to babysit my brother and sister, but to meet with Nick.

I know my mom will be pissed, but I just can't risk putting her and the rest of my family in danger.

Suddenly the bell rings, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I quickly shove all of my things into my backpack and stand up from my desk. Throwing my backpack on, I begin to walk out of the classroom quickly.

"Yo, Bieber, wait up!" I hear Rob yell.

I groan mentally and stop in my tracks.

Rob jogs up to me. "You wanna go to the mall with me and some friends?"

I shake my head. "I can't. I have to be somewhere. Thanks for the invite though." With that, I take off running down the hall before Rob can say another word.

I have to get to Nick's office quickly or he'll be pissed!





I lean against a wall and try to catch my breath when I get inside of Nick's office building.

I just ran all the way hear from school, and this place is like three miles from there.

I'm exhausted, but I still have to do some things.

Finally regaining my breath, I make my way up to the front desk of the building.

The lady sitting behind it looks up at me and dully asks, "May I help you?"

I nod. "I'm here to see Nicholas Parks."

"Got an appointment?" the lady asks in the same tone.

"No," I reply. "But I really need to see him."

"If you don't have an appointment, you can't see him."

"But-"

The lady scowls at me. "Listen kid, this is an office building, not a playground! Beat it!"

I huff.

Time to use my "secret weapon".

I smirk. "Fine. I guess I'll just tell Nick about this over dinner....since he IS my mom's boyfriend." I then start to walk away.

"No, wait!" the las shouts.

I spin around, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"

The lady looks scared. "P-please don't tell Mr. Parks. I would loose my job."

I shrug. "Too bad."

The lady sighs and says, "He's in room six on the fourth floor."

I smile. "Thank you." I then walk off to the elevator.



I sigh as I exit the elevator.

It's time to endure hours of unbearable pain.

I look around for room six. Seeing it, I walk over to the door and take a deep breath, bringing my fist up and lightly knocking.

"Come in," I here that horrible, terrifying, deep voice say.

I slowly put my hand on the doorknob and turn it, opening the door.

Once it's open enough, I slip inside of the room, closing and locking the door.

"You're late," Nick says as he slowly spins around in his chair.

I jump, startled. I turn around and face him. "I-I'm sorry. I got lost on my way here."

Nick stands up and makes his way over to me. "Whatever. Because of your tartiness, you'll be staying here for another two hours."

I gulp.

Nick pins me against a wall and begins to sloppily kiss me.

I grimace. However, knowing the drill, I start to kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck.



About a minute later, Nick pulls away.

I breathe heavily, trying to regain my breath.

Nick pulls open a drawer of a table and pulls out some things, "toys" as he calls them.

The "toys" are a gag and a pair of handcuffs.

Nick snickers. "Let the fun begin."





Four hours later, at six forty-five, I'm finally allowed to get dressed.

Nick just finished raping me. He raped me for four hours straight.

I'm so sore and tied.

I sniffle as I finally finish getting dressed. I walk over to the door, ready to leave.

Nick walk up behind me and slaps my butt. "Nice work."

I shudder and leave the room.





I finally reach my house an hour and a half later.

I force myself to hold in my tears as I pull out my key and stick it in the key hole, unlocking the door. I open the front door and quietly enter the house, making sure Mom won't hear me.

The door creaks as I close it.

I cringe. Taking off my shoes, I tiptoe over to the stairs, about to climb them when......

"Justin Drew Bieber!" Mom shouts, sounding pissed.

I slowly turn around. "Hi, Mom," I say nervously. "You sure look pretty tonight."

"Stop it, Justin!" Mom yells. "Where the heck were you?! You promised you would be back after school to watch Jazmyn and Jaxon!"

I hand my head. "I'm sorry, I got held up with something. It will never happen aga-"

"You're darn right it won't happen again! You're grounded!"

My eyes widen as I look up. "But Mom-"

"No buts! You're grounded for a month and no computer, cellphone, or iPod!"

I start to get angry.

The reason I didn't show up is because I was protecting her!

"That's not fair!" I shout.

"I'm not trying to be fair! You made me miss my business lunch! I could loose my job!"

I sigh, feeling frustrated.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door.

Mom walks off to answer it.

"Hi, Pattie," I hear someone say.

Recognizing the voice, I smile a little. I walk over to the door and am immediately wrapped in a hug.

"Hey, kiddo," my mom's best friend and my "aunt", Kelly says. "It's been forever since I've seen you."

I laugh and pull away from Kelly. "You saw me a month ago."

"Yeah, but it seems like forever."

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"She's here to watch Jazmyn and Jaxon, since I obviously can't trust you to watch them," Mom says harshly.

I feel tears prick my eyes but force them to not fall. "Where are you going?"

Mom scoffs, probably annoyed with me. "I'm going to dinner with Nick, if you must know."

Suddenly Nick comes from out of the living room. He walks over to Mom, wrapping an arm around her waist.

My eyes widen as I see him.

I didn't know he was here!

Nick smirks down at me. He then looks at Mom. "C'mon, Pattie. Let's get going."

Mom smiles and grabs her shawl from the coat rack.

Judging by the way they're dressed, they're going somewhere fancy.

Mom and Nick then leave the house, Mom not even saying goodbye to me.

Aunt Kelly smiles. "Are you ready for a night full of fun with Jazzy, Jaxo, and me?!"

I sigh and shake my head. "No thanks. I need to do some homework."

Raising an eyebrow, Aunt Kelly asks, "Don't you want dinner?"

I shake my head again. "I'm not hungry." I walk over to the staircase.

"Then goodnight.....I guess?" Kelly says sounding slightly confused.

"Goodnight," I mumble back as I start to make my way up to my room.



Entering my room, I throw my backpack onto the floor and walk over to my bed. I throw myself on it and start to sob into a pillow, letting out the tears I was trying to hold in earlier.

I'm so freaking tired of having to put up with Nick raping me! It's been going on for almost two years! I just want it to end! But it won't! Unless......

I sit up on my bed and quickly pull open the second drawer of my nightstand. Rummaging through it, I finally find what I'm looking for......a bottle of OxyContin.

I was given this last year when I fractured my foot badly.

After my foot healed and I stopped along them, I snuck them up to my room and hid them in a drawer in my nightstand.

I take the almost full bottle out of the drawer and unscrew the top, pouring some pills into the palm of my hand.

If I take these, I won't have to worry about Nick. I won't have to worry about disappointing Mom anymore. I won't have to worry about anything.

I bring my cupped hand up to my mouth. Just as I'm about to take the pills, I hear a knock on my door.

I quickly pour the pills back into the bottle and hide it under my pillow. "Come in."

The door opens and I see Kelly holding Jazmyn.

Kelly smiles and enters my room. "Jazzy wanted to see you. Is that ok?"

I nod. "Sure."

Aunt Kelly places Jazzy on the floor.

My little sister immediately runs over to me. "Bieber!"

I laugh and scoop her up, putting her on my lap. "Hey, Jazzy."

She giggles. "Bieber!"

I laugh again and start to tickle her. "My name is Justin, you little weirdo!"

Kelly sits beside me on my bed, looking serious.

I look up at her. "Is something wrong?"

Aunt Kelly sighs. "What's going on?"

I raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"Justin, I've known you since you've been born. I love you like my own son. I know something's wrong. You're not acting right."

I gulp and look down, playing with Jazzy, trying to hide my nervousness. "N-nothing's wrong. Everything's fine!"

"Justin, stop lying."

"I'm not," I say.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that nothing's wrong. That you're life is just peachy keen."

I bite my lip and look up into Kelly's eyes. "Nothing's wrong. My life is peachy keen."

Aunt Kelly sighs and stands up, carefully taking Jazmyn away from me. "You know that you can tell me anything right?"

I nod and look down at my lap, trying to hide the tears welling up in my eyes.

Kelly sighs again and leaves the room.

I groan and fall back on my bed.

I hate my life.





"Justin!" my mom yells from downstairs.

I guess she just got back. I hope Nick's not with her.

I get up from my bed, sighing, and exit my room.

Walking down the stairs into the living room, I see Mom and Nick talking to Kelly.

Mom smiles when she sees me enter the room.

I guess she's no longer mad at me.

"Guess what, honey," she says still smiling wide.

I shrug, not really caring.

Mom holds out her hand, palm facing down, showing me a big, expensive-looking diamond ring.

My eyes widen.

Please don't let that be what I think it is!

"Nick and I are getting married!" Mom squeals excitedly.

That's the last thing I hear before everything goes black.


Kapitel 3


"Justin?" I hear Mom say softly. "Justin, honey. Are you ok?"

I groan and slowly open my eyes. "W-what happened?"

"You fainted," Mom replies as she places an icepack on my forehead.

I take hold of it, keeping it on the bump I feel forming on my head and sit up.

"Are you feeling ok?" Kelly asks.

I nod.

Nick comes back into the room from somewhere and wraps an arm around my mom's waist and discreetly smirks down at me. "You fell pretty hard, Justin."

I suddenly remember what happened before I passed out and become angry.

I quickly stand up, wanting to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Mom asks. "You need to lay back down."

I huff and roll my eyes.

Mom sees and asks, "What's with the sudden attitude?"

I scoff. "Like you don't know."

"I DON'T know!"

I become even angrier. "You freaking agreed to marry Nick! Did you even think about asking me for my opinion?!"

Mom scoffs. "Why would I ask you?! You're not the one getting married!"

"And?! It's still going to affect MY life!"

Mom sighs. "Justin, I'm getting married, whether you want me to or not."

My eyes start to fill with tears. "How can do this to me."

"You had no problem with Jeremy marrying Erin," Mom says placing a hand on her hip.

I start to cry. "That's because I actually LIKE Erin!"

Mom sighs. "Well I'm sorry if you don't like Nick, but we're still getting married."

I let out a sob and throw the icepack onto the ground, running out of the room. I run up the stairs, wanting to go up to my room and cry my eyes out.

"Justin, wait!" Kelly yells as she runs after me.

Reaching my room, I run inside and immediately close the door, locking it.

Kelly knocks on my door. "Justin, sweetie please open the door."

I let out another sob and slide down the door until I'm sitting on the floor.

I can't believe Mom's getting married to Nick.

She didn't even ask me my opinion. She doesn't care about me. She probably hates me!

What did I do to make her hate me?! Am I that bad of a son?!

Maybe I don't deserve my mom.

She probably wishes I were dead....to be honest, I wish the same thing.

I get up from my spot on the floor and drag myself over to my bed, throwing myself on it.

My head hits something as it lands on my pillow.

I sniffle and reach under my pillow and pull out the bottle of pills I hid there earlier.

Mom probably wishes I were dead.......maybe I should make her wish come true. This way she can be with Nick and won't have to worry about me. Her life will be easier.

I'll benefit from committing suicide too. I won't have to deal with Nick and all of the torture and pain he puts me through anymore. Maybe for the first time in two years, I'll be happy.

Making my decision, I grab my notebook and pen from my nightstand. Opening the notebook, I start to write for the last time.



Dear Mom,



First of all, I just want to tell you that I love you so much. You're the best mom I could ask for. Ever since the day I was born, you've worked your butt off to provide for me, and I really appreciate it. Without you, I know that I couldn't have made it these almost sixteen years.

Second of all, me deciding to commit suicide wasn't your fault. I take full responsibility for it. I just can't handle everything anymore. There's too much pressure. I'm not happy at all. I haven't been for like two years.

Anyway, I love you and please tell Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Kelly and everyone else that I love them.

You'll always have a special place in my heart.



Love,

Justin



A tear falls onto the paper, blurring the word love.

I sniffle and tear the page out of my notebook, placing it on my nightstand. I then start to write my dad a note.



Dear Dad,



Please don't blame yourself for my death. It's not your fault at all. You were a great dad. Sure you weren't in my life very much when I was younger, but you did an amazing job of making it up to me. You're the best dad in the entire world, and I love you so much.

I did this to myself because I couldn't take living the way I was anymore. Please don't tell Mom this.....but I HATE Nick! He's not who she thinks he is! I know that she loves him, so I've never told her. But I wish so badly that I could've.

Anyway, please tell Jazzy and Jaxon that I love them and I always will. They're two of the reasons I didn't kill myself a few years ago. I wanted to see them grow up.....but I guess that won't happen now.

Also tell Erin, Grandma, Grandpa and everyone else that I love them.



Love

Justin



I tear the note out and place it next to Mom's. I then grab the bottle of pills, removing the cap. I pour several into the palm of my hand.

I guess this is it. I'm gonna kill myself.

I bring my hand up to my mouth, tilting my head back and swallow all of the pills at one. I take in a shaky breath and put the top back on the bottle, placing it on my nightstand.

At least this way my parents will know what I took.

I lie back on my bed, resting my head on my pillow, sighing.

For the past two years, my life has been like a saying I've heard, smile on your face even though your heart is frowning.

That's exacting what I've been doing, keeping a smile on my face despite the fact that my heart was frowning. I've been nothing but miserable, but wanting to please everyone and having to hide what was going on, I pretended to be happy.

I suddenly start to feel dizzy. I let out a small groan, my vision blurring as I begin to see spots.

This is it.

I take in one last breath and close my eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in two years.

Fyra frågor om förhållanden:
Är du singel? - Ja :(
Tror du på kärlek vid första ögonkastet? - vet inte
Hur många har du varit kär i? - 1
Är du kär just nu? - nej

Tio frågor om dig själv:
Namn? - Cornelia
När fyller du år? - 25 juli
några piercingar? - öronen 
Vad har du på dig just nu? - skjorta o mjukisbyxor
Vilken årstid är bäst? - Sommaren
Hur ser den perfekta morgonen ut för dig? - Vakna upp med någon fin, hihi
Vad tycker du mest om hos dig själv? - 
Vad är du bra på? - Inget typ, haha
Vem älskar du mest på denna jord? - Vännerna & familjen!
Sover du hellre själv än tillsammans med någon? - just nu, ensam men om ja träffar nån så...

Tio frågor om dina vänner:
Vem vet allt om dig? - Kajsa typ
Vem är den roligaste av dina vänner? - ALLA
Vem är snyggast av dina vänner? - Alla är snygga!
Vem är mest partyprisse? - Elienor
Vem är den du helst har filmkväll med? - Spelar ingen roll!
Vem av dina vänner är mest "evil"? - Locerorr haha

Tio frågor om din familj:
Vem står dig närmast? - kan inte snacka med någon...
Har du bra kontakt med båda dina föräldrar? - ja
Vem är farligast i din familj - Pappa hehe
Vem är roligast i din familj? - Nina har bäst humor
Vem är coolast? - Jag.
Har ni något husdjur? - Ja
Vem har du mest gemensamt med? - ingen, ja e en loner i min familj...
Vem står för underhållningen? - Jag!
Vem sover du oftast med? - Min säng..
Roligaste kvällen med familjemedlem? - .

Tio frågor om idag:
Vad har du gjort? - varit i skolan, skypat ätit kollat tv
Har du varit glad idag? - Nja, sjuk 
Har du varit ledsen idag? - nja
Har du gjort något bra idag? - kanske
Vad ska du göra nu? - skypa, frivillig?
Har du gjort något dåligt idag? - hoppas inte det
Vad har du ätit idag? - Frukost och middag
Har du duschat idag? - inte än..
Är du trött nu? - nej
Vad händer imorgon? - chillaa

Trivs du i skolan? - Jaa
Har du varit i skolan idag? - Nej

Annat:
Hur mår du just nu? - ensam
Har du piercat dig? - öronen...

Telefon/mobil: iphone
Vem ringde dig senast? - simon
Vem ringde du senast? - pappa
Vem sms:a dig senast? - kajsaa
Vem sms:a du till senast? - kajsaa

Övrigt:
Är du hungrig nu? - Nej
Vad är klockan nu just nu? - 20:48
Vilka sidor på Internet är du inne på just nu? - Facebook, blogg

Familj, igen:
Hur länge sen var det du träffa din morsa? - 2 dagar sen
Hur länge sen var det du träffa din farsa? - 2 minuter typ

Sport: ...
Går du på någon sport? - nej
I så fall, vilken/vilka? - gå ut med hunden...
Trivs du med den sporten? - njaa får pengar för de...
Tycker du att den sporten är rolig? - ibland
Gör den sporten dig glad när du håller på med den? - ibland

Övrigt, igen:
Gillar du punk? - Nej
Har du sminkat dig idag? - ja
Isåfall, vad för smink? - concealer (stavning) mascara o kajal
Vad har du på dig för trosor just nu? - hipster
Hur ser de ut? - rosa
Vad har du för bh/topp på dig just nu? - bh
Hur ser den ut? - svart med spets

Musik: va?
Lyssnar du på musik just nu? - Nej
I så fall, vilken låt för tillfället? - .
Vad gillar du för musik? - Olika

Kärlek: ?
Är du kär just nu? - tror inte det
Har du kysst någon idag? - Nej
Har du ett förhållande? - Nej :/
Är du romantisk? - om jag vill..

Har du snott en kompis pojkvän/flickvän? - Nej, taskigt!
Har du gråtit framför någon du tyckt om någon gång? - ja
Vad hette din första flickvän/pojkvän? - Adam på mitt första dagis...
Hur länge höll det? - vet inte..

Hur länge var ditt kortaste? - ↑så länge?
Hur länge var ditt längsta? - vet ej
Vill du vara singel eller ha ett förhållande? - Just nu? förhållande.

Förhållande:
Har du varit tillsammans med två samtidigt? - Nej.
Är du en bra pojk/flickvän? - hoppas det iallafall.
Vem sov du senast bredvid ? - kajsa tror ja
Vem sa senast att han/hon tyckte om dig mer än som vän? - Aldrig hört det...
Har du varit tillsammans med någon som du sen hade ett KK-förhållende med? - Nej
Hur gamla var dina föräldrar när de blev tillsammans? - 24 & 31
Har du någon gång velat ha ditt syskons pojkvän/flickvän? - ew nej
Skulle du kunna tatuera in din kärleks namn på armen? - inte just nu
Har du mest blivit dumpad eller dumpat? - dumpad...
Vad gillar du för stil på tjejen/killen? - Olikaaa

Pappa kom just in till mig o hade hittat Boris på köksgolvet! :DDDDDDD

Nu är skolavslutningskläderna avklarade! Ja va i stan igår med Kajsa och köpte en vit kjol och ett rosa linne, tänkte egentligen ha en långklänning från Gina, först såg ja den men ja gick i kollade i andra affärer ifall de fanns nått snyggare lixom, sen nä ja kom tillbaka till Gina så fanns dom inte kvar, typ 20 klänningar tog slut på typ 2 timmar :/ men ja köpte iaf en vit kjol med lite volanger i saker på och ett enkelt rosa linne :3 nu är ja i bakar med Karin mesans Kajsa är på match, Rasmus ska ju ha födelsedagskalas idag så de blir naaaaaajs! Hehe men ni går ha de så bra!

PUSS

Shocats!🐱 Hahaha ne skoja! Men hej !

Sitter i käkar frukost! PIZZA
Så de e naajjss! Hehe
Igårkväll va jag i min syrra och mamma nere i hamnen och åt på nån resturang! För mamma fyllde år! ❤
Sen på vägen hem så ramlade jag o stukade foten 😞 tyypisk mig!
Så nu har jag typ lindat den i har nån salva sak på... Men ja går helt mobbat, jaja ni får se i skolan!

Puuuss

Sitter vid runda bordet, har precis haft lunch, åt typ inget även om det va potatisbullar, mår Inge bra, kunde helt enkelt inte äta... Kände inte för det! Men nu ska jag inte vara sån! Sitter o lyssnar på glad musik så nu ska jag bli glad!

Puss

Ska nog gå och lägga mig nu, orkar inte skola imorn... 😞
Bjuder på en bild, nyduschad o osminkad, kan det bli bättre?

Puuuss